I stay sane by..

Going to work.
Sometimes I just wish I could hide away in my bed and not face anything or anyone. On the days I've done this, I don't feel any better and it actually makes things worse. So. I get up and go. I work in a good environment around people and nature. It's also a plus when Paul and I get to meet each other at the dump for a quick kiss.

Doing home work.
Home work usually makes me sad but lately it's what's been holding me together. It's the key to my future and thinking about my future as a teacher makes me happy.

#tunameltsmyheart
I don't know if any one will ever understand my love for dogs. Little pups literally fill a space in my heart. My husband showed me this dog named Tuna on Instagram and I'm obsessed. Some people may think he is repulsive. The dog makes me happy. I can't explain it. He might even be my new wallpaper for my computer.. Tuna literally melts my heart!

Being with Tanner and Bree.
These two are so innocent and happy about the smallest, simplest things. They'll share their happiness with just about anyone. When I'm around them I don't have any time to be sad or angry. Stacy, you are so lucky to have these two sweethearts! And I'm so lucky to be their Aunt.

Eating well.
There's a giant difference in my mood when I have eaten I giant bowl of Reese's compared to when I have a green smoothie and a healthy dinner. But. Sometimes the Reese's make me just as happy..

Going to the temple.
I have no words for the peace that I feel there.

DIY// pretty Twig wreath

Paul and I live in a little "add on" to a house, meaning we live in the back of someone else's house. Every time I come in or out of our apartment I walk through a little passage way to get to the front and there are these giant bush-tree things that I have to dodge in order to keep both my eyes.  I was sick of these branches whacking me in the face every time so I chopped a few down with my trusty kitchen scissors. I brought a few of them inside and got to work.

There are a lot of beautiful classic holiday wreaths going up but I wanted something a little different. I really like how it turned out!

DIY// Pine cone mobile

Lately I've found myself surrounded by pine cones. It seems like every day at work I've been literally collecting truck loads of pine cones along with pine needles, sticks and leaves. It seems only appropriate to decorate my house with them too, right? Well my husband thought I lost it once and for all when I came home with a bucket of natures finest. I think he was pretty impressed with the end result.

Step 1. Go outside and find what nature has to offer. I found 5 really pretty pine cones with different sizes, shapes and colors. Also, any stick will do. 

Step 2. Cut pieces of twine with your desired length. I cut different lengths for each. 

Step 3. Wrap the end of your twine around your pine cones tightly. I didn't even have to tie it. All I did was wrap the twine around the pine cone tightly and snipped off the extra.

Step 4. Wrap the other end of your twine around the stick and tie. 

Step 5. Cut two pieces of twine at equal length, tie to the ends of the stick, then tie the other ends together at the top to create a way to hang your mobile.

Step 6. Hang on your wall with a pin where others can enjoy your unique decoration! 

Julia

This conversation happened after Julia and I got into an awful stupid awkward fight. In a way I'm so glad we had this little battle because what came from it was only love. I always love you Julia. No matter what. 

let go

Thank you Manwaring Center for supplying spoons for poor married college students so they can last another week.

Before..

 And after.. 

Next time we're coming after the silverware.

To Julia

I know we are 14 years a part, but I still have some really great sister memories.

I have such a strong memory of you coming home from college for the weekend. You would get to the house late Friday, we would eat tuna fish sandwiches on Saturday, and on sunday we would take naps on the couch. I loved that feeling of you holding me tight in your arms. As you would fall asleep that feeling of mine was soon replaced with "let me out of here!" But I never wanted to wake you. So I would lay with you and my seven year old self would try so very hard to be patient for I knew that you would be making the drive back to Provo soon.

On my Birthday you were always thinking of your baby sister. Receiving that gigantic box in the mail was literally the highlight of my life. I remember opening it up to find a giant purple bag and inside that bag was a giant brown (stuffed) puppy. My childhood life was complete!

When you told me that in about 6 months I would become an Aunt, it didn't register. I don't think it really did until mom and I were standing outside your hospital room, with our ears pressed against the door, and we finally heard the sweetest, most precious baby cry I had ever heard. I couldn't believe you had become a mother. I watched you be a great one. You loved your little boy with your entire heart.

I imagine that every 18 year olds first part time job experience is a little intimidating or scary. Not mine. When you came to Rexburg and started working at our local gym, you didn't waste any time on convincing the management to hire your two little sisters. My first day, (I wasn't even officially hired yet!) you got me straight to work. Working on knowing every persons life story, that is. You knew EVERYONE. and you didn't just know their names. You knew their entire life. Geez, you knew who exactly was sleeping with who in that scummy gym. Besides the weird stuff that went on there, you truly knew the good in other people. It was just something about you. People were drawn to you. You would always introduce me to the craziest people. And suddenly, because I was "Julia's little sister" I had all these awesome old man friends.. (and a lot of normal friends too). You helped me to understand the importance of people.

You, Stacy, and I signed up for a halloween race in Rigby. We went to Walmart for costumes and you convinced me to be a blue zombie butterfly complete with zombie wings. I'm kind of shy and awkward about these kinds of things but I'm so glad you made me do this. You helped me to get out of my comfort zone. I remember laughing so hard at your "sad" little lady bug antennas (you were a zombie lady bug.. or something..haha).

This was the time in our lives that we were finally getting close. Not just the "you're my big sister and I'm the little sister" close. It was like we were really friends.

These past months no matter how bad you were hurting or what was going on, you were always concerned for me. Asking me questions about school, work, our new apartment. You would message me "be happy!" and give me words of encouragement when I was sad. Your stories were the best entertainment and distracted be from my own worries.

I'll finish right here. I have a lot more but I can't get it out right now.

Julia, I love you so much. This is the hardest thing.